Joey Stidman & Family | Student

About This Episode

Go With John on a special upcoming episode as he welcomes Joey Stidman and his family. Joey shares how his phone and social media took him to a very dark place and how he was able to find happiness again through the help of his parents and “unplugging.”



 [00:00:03] I’m John Jorgenson, and this is to go with John Show, you may recall that Frank Stidman from Broadband Evolution was a guest on our show not too long ago. And shortly after his appearance, his son Joey wanted to come on the show and talk to me about his struggle with depression. It’s a little bit off the beaten path of topics that we cover, but there is some tie in to our show technology today. And in particular, social media has become the center of our existence, especially for the youngsters out there. It can affect how much time you spend with your family. It can be a distraction at work. And for some of us, like my guests today, it can take us down a darker path and we prefer to go. Joining me today is Joey Steadman, along with his mom and dad, to talk about how technology, social media and negativity affects us all as a result of not unplugging. [00:01:04][60.6]

[00:01:12] All right, so I’m here today with Joey Stidman. Joey, you’re 17 years old. I am. And we’re here today with your mom and dad. We have Lynn Steadman and Frank Steadman in the room with us. And we’re going to chat a little bit about you and your story. [00:01:23][11.5]

[00:01:24] And before we get into that, let me tell the folks how we got here. And I think Frank and I were standing around at the back of our pickup trucks out in front of a job site. And I was sharing with Frank stories about how frustrated I was with the way technology had negatively impacted, like my company culture. And it was really frustrating to me. And then Frank started talking about your story. Eventually, your dad, Frank, came on to the podcast with me and we did a great episode, which is getting a lot of downloads and a lot of traction. People really like it. And Frank said, hey, you know what? My son Joey would love to come on and share his story with the folks. And I say, great, let’s do it. So that’s kind of how we got here. It’s it’s wonderful to have you guys here. And thank you for coming. And Joey, welcome. [00:02:20][55.9]

[00:02:21] Hello. I almost said welcome again. [00:02:22][1.6]

[00:02:23] There you go. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me on. This is this is great. [00:02:27][4.3]

[00:02:27] Yeah. No, it’s it’s going to be great. So, Joey, so tell us a little bit about some of your hobbies. So you’re into photography and tell us, how did you get into photography? [00:02:37][9.9]

[00:02:38] Oh, with my old friends, I used to be the one, the designated photographer, which at first I was annoyed about because, you know, I wasn’t the one in the photos. But then I found out that I actually kind of like taking the photos. And then I bought a nicer phone with a better camera. And then I took a photography class sophomore year and I excelled really well in that. And then I actually won a few awards, too. [00:02:59][20.4]

[00:03:00] And it was one of my best hobbies in sophomore year. It was great. [00:03:05][4.5]

[00:03:05] Yeah, it’s a lot of fun. I love taking pictures as well. And you have you have some great photography on your website. It’s really amazing. So you also play guitar? Yeah, yeah. So tell us about that. So what made you get into guitar? What was that, what inspired you to pick up a guitar together? [00:03:21][15.8]

[00:03:22] You finally push that on me for like three years that I didn’t touch my electric guitar. [00:03:25][3.7]

[00:03:26] And then one day I was like, I want to learn acoustic guitar. And naturally, he had already bought me like one hundred and fifty dollars. Washburne So I didn’t touch that thing because I wrote really fast. Right. But I eventually learned guitar and I started taking lessons and with my an instructor of any who is a great influence on me, who I probably talk about later. [00:03:42][16.6]

[00:03:43] Right. And then I played that for years. Learn some classic rock, modern rock, some random songs. Right. It was one of my favorite hobbies at the time. [00:03:52][9.1]

[00:03:53] Yeah. Are you still playing a lot of music now? [00:03:55][1.6]

[00:03:55] I wouldn’t say a lot, but I still have a weekly guitar lessons with my instructor and I’m still learning stuff right now. I’m learning Ride the Lightning Metallica right now. Wow. That’s some serious music, right? Oh, it’s it’s difficult. I’m not I’m not going to learn that solo within, like, a year because I’m practicing every day like I used to. [00:04:10][15.5]

[00:04:11] But so so folks out there think that you can just like some people are gifted and you can just pick up a guitar and play it. Right. And it’s just is that does that ever happen? Do you think that. [00:04:19][8.1]

[00:04:19] Absolutely that does happen? I mean, I wouldn’t say you can pick it up and you know everything, but there’s some people just have a knack for it. I, I wouldn’t say anybody can just pick it up, but other people learn really fast. Right. [00:04:31][11.5]

[00:04:31] Right, right. I’m not one of them. I bought my first guitar in 1995. I still have it. And I literally could not play it till about two or three years ago. So you guys can do the math. That’s a little while. I’m a slow learner. [00:04:45][13.8]

[00:04:48] Yeah, it is. It’s brutal. So, so. So tell us your story. So what? So you know, so you had some challenges. So you’re 17 years old, you’re really young guy. [00:04:59][10.5]

[00:04:59] You got your whole life ahead of you and you’ve had some real difficulties. And part of it ties into technology and social media and and really, we want to come here today and celebrate you and celebrate how you overcame your challenges. But tell us kind of what happened in your life and what what what got you into let’s just call it a dark place in life. [00:05:24][25.2]

[00:05:25] Oh, well, elementary school, I perfectly fine. Like, I don’t think anybody’s anybody’s mental illness develops in elementary school. I haven’t seen that before. Right. Although I have seen what, like psychopathic six year olds. But that’s a different story. Sure. Let’s see. Elementary school, I was fine. Middle school was really rough for me. I have a condition with my back where if anybody touches my upper back, it feels like I’m on fire. [00:05:50][25.5]

[00:05:51] And I’ve been dealing with that since seventh grade. I’ve been to ten doctors on. I have three different diagnosis. Right. It’s it. [00:06:00][8.8]

[00:06:00] Would kids like on purpose touch your back? [00:06:02][1.8]

[00:06:03] Yes. Yes. So how did the back condition. Yeah. Ty and tell us how. So I was a I’m not going to lie. [00:06:08][5.0]

[00:06:08] I was an attention seeker and. A seventh and eighth grade, I was there. [00:06:11][3.2]

[00:06:11] That’s never happened with any seventh or eighth grade or most of them. Oh yeah, most of them are very compliant. Most of them are very competent. Yeah, well, let’s just say it was extra bad for me. [00:06:23][12.1]

[00:06:24] Yeah. And I would start for some reason I found a tension in that and that was a huge mistake because people would purposely slap me on the back and the condition was real. I just was broadcasting that for some reason I don’t understand myself. I would not be friends with my seventh grade year old self. [00:06:40][15.8]

[00:06:40] Right. But most of us probably would. Yeah, I if you would be. There’s something wrong. Right. [00:06:44][4.4]

[00:06:46] Yeah, but it was. Yeah. A lot of people harassed me for that. Right. Like I said, hit me in the back purposely. That hurt a lot. And just kind of emotional pain. That’s I think that’s when it started. [00:06:57][11.5]

[00:06:58] Right. So what started when you say it started. [00:07:00][1.8]

[00:07:00] But it’s just general depression. It wasn’t feeling good. And I was trying to at first I threw myself into school and I would stress over an A minus, which my parents literally didn’t care. They were like, as long as you get Besar up, you’re fine. Right. Which is kind of ironic because all the other kids were their parents with stress A’s or a minuses and then they would not care. Right. So I was kind of reverse psychology there, if that makes sense, right? Sure, I’m sure. I don’t know if that was the intention, but. [00:07:26][26.1]

[00:07:27] Right. Probably not. But yeah. [00:07:29][2.2]

[00:07:30] Well, yeah, I’m I’m sure not. I can see Lynn is shaking her head. No, so. [00:07:34][3.8]

[00:07:34] No, I mean, we just wanted him to do his best write in school. Sure. [00:07:38][3.8]

[00:07:39] Write and be happy and be happy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That’s the one I feel that. Yeah. Yeah. Well you’re there now so yeah I’m happy now and that’s what I’m. I’m sorry. So what happened. What happened. [00:07:49][10.6]

[00:07:50] Seven Middle School sucks but then it was really in freshman year that things got rough. One of my best friends, he said some messed up stuff to me. He tried to I want to say he tried to get me to kill myself, but he offered me sleeping pills. That’s horrible. Yeah. He asked me, how would you kill yourself? And I said, sleeping pills. And then he offered to get me some. Yeah, that’s and that would that hurt me a lot because sure. He’s supposed to be my best friend and then suddenly, hey, I’ll assist you in suicide. Right. That one hurt a lot. Right. My friends weren’t they were very some of them were very supportive. Some of them weren’t. Yeah. And I just threw myself into the whole social crowd. And then that was one around winter and freshman year, I’d say, like around January. That’s when I started heavily drinking, like. [00:08:32][42.0]

[00:08:33] And what and what year was that? [00:08:34][1.2]

[00:08:34] That was I was 19 or 20. 20 probably. Yeah. Early. Twenty twenty. Yeah. Twenty, nineteen, twenty nineteen. [00:08:43][8.6]

[00:08:43] Well because I started like maybe in was the first time I want to see in October. Yes. [00:08:48][4.2]

[00:08:48] I missed Halloween so October of twenty nineteen to about June of twenty twenty in my mind is the chunk of time. [00:08:55][6.6]

[00:08:55] Yes. Yeah. That was the that, those were the bad times and that’s like literally right before covid. Yeah. Yeah. That Unkovic. Yeah. [00:09:03][7.8]

[00:09:03] He went into a group home for two months they a week into it, they locked it down and we couldn’t really come visit them. [00:09:08][5.2]

[00:09:08] Yeah. Yeah that was rough but covid kind of saved me academically and a lot of kids can agree with that. Right. Anyone, especially junior juniors that year, because junior is the hardest and a lot of people got to take their finals online. [00:09:22][14.0]

[00:09:23] Right. Right. So so how did you get there? I mean, how did you get to the point where you started drinking? Like, what was what was was there a driver was there? [00:09:31][7.9]

[00:09:32] I was the driver. If anything, I felt bad because I was an awful influence on my friends. I was only supplying and it’s better now that I got cut off from them because if anything, I was the bad influence on them in that way. Right. But no, I was the driver. I mean, the driver was the fact that there was a liquor shelf three feet away from me in the basement. Right. And that just made things easier, right? Yeah. [00:09:54][22.0]

[00:09:54] Yeah. And I think we’ve all grown up with that. I mean, I think I grew up in that same scenario where, you know, it was there. [00:10:01][6.9]

[00:10:02] And I think everybody probably approaches it a little differently, you know. [00:10:06][4.5]

[00:10:06] But so what do you what do you want people to learn? So, you know, one of the things you told me is you want to tell your story and you want to try to help other people. So how would you how would you help somebody else? I mean, what would you say from your perspective? What would you say to somebody who’s struggling with with depression? Because it’s almost more than depression. It’s almost you know, you’ve got you’ve got depression. You’ve got social bullying on on social media. [00:10:38][31.6]

[00:10:39] Right. You’ve got which we didn’t really talk about that yet. But you’ve got physical bullying and you’ve got your typical, I think, scenario where you have seventh and eighth graders who are just at that stage in life where it’s just kind of difficult to begin with. [00:10:56][17.3]

[00:10:56] Right. And then you start throwing these other things in. But so what would you say to folks to try to help them or to try to make them aware that maybe something is bigger? Happening here than just general prototypical adolescence? [00:11:12][15.7]

[00:11:13] Well, to help other people, I would say, especially for teenagers, because this is difficult for them. Try your best not to be negative. A lot of people like to talk crap about other people, and that makes you feel better, I guess, in the short term. But that just that’s never a good thing. It just makes other people feel bad. And then you feel bad or just overall being negative about everything. That’s just that’s how you easily fall into depression. I mean, if you’re negative about everything, what are you happy about? You’re not happy about anything. And so trying to be as positive as possible and the least negative, I mean, try to seem the best in other people or always assume positive intentions. Mm hmm. Like, I’m trying to think of a situation that where that would come into play, but I’m not sure. [00:12:00][46.7]

[00:12:00] Well, I could you know, I mean, I can tell you in business classes, when I go to business classes or I go to seminars, they’ll tell you write down the names of all the people that you spend the most time with. Right. It’s usually five or six or seven people because you don’t have a lot. And then they’ll say, you know, are these people generally positive or negative? And then is there anybody in your sphere that’s really negative? And then they’ll say, you’ve got to get away from them. Right, because negativity begets negative negativity. Right. When you get into that negative tearing down kind of mentality, it wears you down on everybody else. And when you get into that positive space where you’re trying to build everybody up around you, then that just perpetuates itself, you know, as well. So I think that’s what you’re what you’re saying is try to get the negativity out of your life and focus on the positive, both absolutely. On your own and with the people that you spend time with because you’ve already made the comment. I’m not sure if you made this comment before we started rolling my ex about that. You’re you’ve cut off contact with a lot of these negative folks that were a negative influence on you. [00:13:03][63.6]

[00:13:04] Actually, if anything is the other way around, they cut off contact with me. But if anything, that was better for everybody involved. Right. So I’m glad now. But that hurt a lot at the time. Right. Right, right. [00:13:13][9.2]

[00:13:13] Sometimes it’s just bad chemistry, you know. Oh, it started off great. [00:13:17][3.9]

[00:13:18] I mean, I, I mean, they were very supportive and they were part of they were the reason I’m still here. Right. And they’re also the reason why I almost wasn’t here. Right. Right. Amazing how that works. [00:13:27][9.1]

[00:13:27] And we think that with him and what we coached him for us to get away from wanting to be a part of a group. We think that there’s dynamics that exist in a group that can get out of control and get crazy. And even if it like that group we used to love, we that seemed like a very good thing at first. And then at some point somebody is going to inject something negative and evil into it and that takes off like a virus. What we’ve coached him to do is have a few friends, but very good ones. Right. And it’s much healthier for it. Right. And best as we can see. [00:13:56][29.5]

[00:13:57] Yeah, exactly. And that’s and that’s the way that’s the way life works and that’s the way it is with my life, Frank. And I’m sure yours too. [00:14:03][5.7]

[00:14:03] And then you end up with a you know, it’s funny, when I was in high school over and over and over and over, teachers would say, you know, when you’re 35 years old, you’re going to be able to count the friends you have on one hand. [00:14:13][10.4]

[00:14:14] And I think we all sat there in school and said, and it’s not going to happen to me. But the reality is that’s just the way life works. Yeah. You know, and if you accept it and work with it, I think we’re all better off. So. So how did technology and social media. So now you’re 17 years old, so you’ve grown up with a phone in your hand? [00:14:34][19.9]

[00:14:34] Absolutely. Yeah. Since I was 12, I think. [00:14:36][2.4]

[00:14:37] Yeah. So you were born you were born in, what, year 2000? For good. I mean, I got one right away. There’s kind of a stigma about my grade against twenty four kids. Yeah. Even though I was born January 1st. So I count myself. So why is there a stigma against twenty four kids. We’re pretty stupid. No come on. Not you know, some of the younger generation or younger side like the ones born in September. Yeah I wouldn’t say stigma but it’s just kind of a joke. Yeah. There’s always some sort of a joke flying around. Exactly. [00:15:05][27.9]

[00:15:05] So so you know, and that’s and that’s the thing for me. And I’ll just tell like a quick story. So when before it’s really only been about the last ten years. Right. So we’re in twenty, twenty now, so around twenty ten. And you were born in 04, but it used to be you know, I started my first business 35 years ago and when we came to work and Lynne and Frank, you will remember this, maybe not you Frank, because you’ve kind of been self-employed your whole life. [00:15:32][26.4]

[00:15:32] But when we went to work, we, we had a policy in our company where you were not allowed to have personal phone calls like it was a you would come to the office and you o’clock in the morning and you were trapped in this building or office or you were trapped with this team of people all day. And there were no outside influences coming into your organization. And I never realized how amazing it was at the time. When I look back at it and if somebody’s got a personal phone call, it was a big deal. And you could get if you got too many personal phone calls during the week, you could get fired, you know. Or we would have to let somebody go because they were disrupting the workflow of of of the day and now with with the folks that have been coming into the workplace in the last, I don’t know, seven or eight years who grew up with that phone in their hand. They can’t seem to come to the office like that. That whole experience is gone with the Internet, with the news coming in, like everybody’s plugged in, everybody’s sharing emails all day and you’re working on the Internet. You can’t get off it if there’s some kind of a catastrophe. Everybody knows right away that there’s been a plane crash or there’s been, you know, some world event. And there’s this constant distractions in the workplace. And I don’t think it’s really a good thing. And I fight it. And everybody who works with me really understands how I’m trying to hold on to the past. [00:16:58][85.9]

[00:16:59] And now I’m just one of these old guys that, you know, you know, I don’t get it right and but I do get it right. [00:17:05][6.7]

[00:17:06] So but how did technology because you just don’t know what it was, right and right. But how did technology play a role or impact your situation? [00:17:15][9.2]

[00:17:16] My situation, having contact with everyone 24/7 and being expected to reply. I mean, I think it’s ridiculous for people to get mad at you for ignoring them on the phone. You bought that phone. You have the right to answer whatever, right? I mean, it used to be that you couldn’t contact anyone 24/7, whereas now I can get a hateful text any second. [00:17:39][23.3]

[00:17:40] And that does happen still. Right. Still today, I wouldn’t say till today, but I’ve got over the past few months, I’ve gotten a few just long paragraphs of text that I’ve just ignored, that I don’t even read them. But I know that they were against me. Right. But just being able to anyone can say anything to you at any time, it’s ridiculous, especially social media. I can block someone on text. I can and I can block them on Instagram. I can block them on Snapchat, but they can create a new account. They can always contact me. [00:18:07][26.8]

[00:18:07] Right. And well, so what is cyberbullying? Because like, I think everybody experience some sort of bullying. Did you learn experience any bullying? Maybe not. Maybe not the ladies. But Frank, did you. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, I just think that even if you didn’t even if you weren’t really bullied, I think everybody has felt like they were bullied, even if it was unintentional. Right. From my perspective. I mean, it’s so so but if you’re but if you’re what is cyber bullying like? I understand there are people that are saying horrible things right. To you directly, but are they also posting things on Facebook about you and or is it mostly just like directed directly at you privately? One on one? [00:18:48][40.8]

[00:18:48] What’s interesting is actually I think that we’ve gotten cyber bullying that’s public under control. And I’ll talk about that in a second. But it’s mostly direct messaging that tends to be bad. And like I said, it’s 24/7 contact with anyone in the world that’s bad. But the cyber bullying that’s public, what ends up happening, at least in my area, is everyone just starts commenting hate on the person who was cyber cyber bullying. Right. And then they suddenly get just completely canceled. And everyone hates on them for hating on other people. And it’s it’s amazing. You’ll see hateful posts and then thousands of comments just saying, take this down. Right. [00:19:23][35.0]

[00:19:24] It’s I mean, that’s great. [00:19:25][1.4]

[00:19:25] I think our society is evolved right to the point where we understand, at least here to be completely different in Maryland or Maryland or one of the real dangers that slipped past us, we still struggle with this is, you know, you were up until two, three, four in the morning sometimes texting and dealing with things. And so he’s dead tired. And, you know, that’s one of those ingredients for making depression even worse. Oh, yeah. And not thinking clearly. And so one of the mistakes we made as parents is not demanding and requiring that that phone be put on our in our room by eight, nine o’clock, whatever your standard is, and taking it away because it is such a powerful thing for them to want to look. [00:20:09][43.6]

[00:20:09] They can barely sleep beings eyes. Oh, my God. Somebody might have texted me and I need to respond or somebody said this about me and I need to defend myself. And, you know, those texting that’s addicting, they just can’t resist it. [00:20:21][11.6]

[00:20:21] Right. Right, right. Most of us can’t. Yeah, no, I agree. [00:20:24][2.9]

[00:20:25] We all I mean, it’s it’s it’s a sickness that’s really building in. And so, you know, to his point, the the posting on a major social media site and crapping on somebody, you’re probably going to get a lot of grief over that. So they’ve moved that to direct messaging, right. In group chat. Group chat can be very dangerous. [00:20:42][17.2]

[00:20:42] Oh, yeah. I had I was in a group chat that was very negative and I thought bad for one of my friends because he had different political views and they were just harassed the hell out of them. [00:20:50][8.0]

[00:20:51] Right. It was awful. That’s the bad side of canceling, right? Yeah. Right, right. Right. Yeah. [00:20:56][5.9]

[00:20:57] So so the the direct messaging is brutal. Still is brutal today. Right. And, you know, I guess one of the things you said was interesting that people expect you to respond like right away. What? What is? I’m not sure I understand that, like I hear what you said earlier, but for some reason I’m struggling to understand why. What is the concept behind that or is there a concept behind that? [00:21:22][24.9]

[00:21:23] Yeah, it to us, it’s like talking to someone directly and then ignoring them. Right. Like not like if you’re talking to me right now and I just start looking away, I’m not talking to you, especially if you start talking, texting other people, then it’s obvious that you’re ignoring them. And to me, I think that’s perfectly fine. You have the right not to respond to someone, but then the other person just gets angry. And that’s really common within my generation. I think that’s ridiculous. [00:21:46][23.3]

[00:21:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So so what is there anything that you would add to this conversation that we’ve just had about bullying, cyber bullying? Is there anything that comes to mind that we haven’t touched on that you want to get out there? [00:22:01][13.9]

[00:22:01] Not particularly. OK, and I guess just don’t try to be as not negative as possible. That would be positive. [00:22:08][7.2]

[00:22:09] That would be positive. Well, there’s a difference between not being negative and being positive. [00:22:13][3.8]

[00:22:14] But wait, don’t two negatives make a positive? So we’re there. [00:22:17][2.5]

[00:22:17] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s I tell them what you did with the social media accounts you’re on. [00:22:23][6.0]

[00:22:24] I deleted well, I deactivated the accounts and then deleted the app, so that’s a great com. [00:22:28][4.9]

[00:22:29] And that’s where I that’s where I was going to go. That’s where I was going to go next is like, OK, so what do we do. Right. So, so let’s take a let’s take a five minute break. And when we come back, let’s talk about what you did and how you overcame and how you’re living, the awesome life that you live in today. [00:22:45][16.0]

[00:22:50] In case you missed it, here’s a clip from Episode six, Frank Steadman. [00:22:54][4.1]

[00:22:56] When I have tough days, I remember that, you know, perseverance is everything. It is innate. They say that, you know, you can read a library full of books about business and how to succeed in this snap, but that is the number one factor. [00:23:09][13.8]

[00:23:18] So you’ve listen to Joey, obviously, you know his story inside and out, you didn’t need to hear it and know it. You’ve lived it. But what else would you add to? You know, would you want to add any color to what Joey said from a mom and dad perspective? [00:23:32][14.4]

[00:23:34] So, you know, just don’t be at least with the mental health part, don’t be afraid to ask your children direct questions. Mm hmm. You know, we’re proud of him for coming to us and saying that he needed to see someone. And, you know, it’s amazing with you know, we talk about the apps and how the downside of it, but with the technology and getting access to doctors, it’s amazing. You can book an appointment right away. Mm hmm. But it was definitely an emotional time for us. [00:24:10][35.6]

[00:24:11] And and I know that because I know Frank and I remember that conversation like it was yesterday when we were we’re standing out in front of, you know, that job side of McClain. [00:24:22][11.4]

[00:24:23] And, you know, Joey, I can tell you, your dad was he was deeply, deeply concerned. [00:24:29][6.6]

[00:24:30] Deeply concerned. Right. [00:24:31][1.0]

[00:24:32] So, yeah, Joey had walked past us when we were sitting on our couch at the outset of all this before we knew anything was going on. And there was something about the expression on his face. And I turned to my wife and said, something’s up. Yeah. Yeah. And that comes from experience. I’m mentally ill as well. I suffer from that time. Severe depression. Right. And so I understand it on a more visceral level. I also understand the clinical side of it. So there’s a lot of people that think depression is just a mood. It is absolutely not. It is clinical. It is chemicals and your brain problems with serotonin, problems with your guts, ability to make the appropriate chemicals. And so the science and pharmaceuticals of it have come a long way. But what Joey and I don’t want is this Band-Aid, these pills we take every day, we want to be cured. Right. And there’s a lot of things coming along. We can talk about that later. But, you know, it is very difficult. But where we think we were blessed with this is this happened in high school. [00:25:32][59.9]

[00:25:32] Right. While he’s under our care and we see him every day. Right. Versus him going to college where a lot of people just flat out lose their kids. Yes. They have no idea they’re circling the drain. Right. Having these problems. And frankly, you have so much less rights as parents once they hit 18, obviously go to college, but even in their age, after 13, it becomes very limited what you can know about your kid, right. From their caretakers. So if it happens in high school, you can intercept it, but you’ve got to be paying attention. [00:26:00][27.6]

[00:26:01] Well, you know, one of the things you were Frank, I remember like it was yesterday, because this whole thing started. This whole conversation started because I was venting about technology. Sure. And you were telling me about how you were having difficulties controlling the technology with Joey. Right. Like with your with your rights over the phone. The phone was in your name. Correct. And what kind of rights do you have over that phone? [00:26:23][22.2]

[00:26:23] Not even cell phone is on my account. Yeah. And he went into treatment. We didn’t entirely know what was going on. And I went to Apple to get this phone unlocked. Right. And they wouldn’t do it right. But you had you had his phone. I had his phone. Yeah, I paid for it. Yeah, I bought that phone that accounts and my name would lock it. [00:26:43][20.2]

[00:26:44] Right. [00:26:44][0.0]

[00:26:45] And we didn’t know if there was things we needed to know on there that were life saving or I would have gone to help us. [00:26:51][6.2]

[00:26:52] But and weeks 16 at the time. [00:26:54][2.2]

[00:26:54] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:26:56][1.9]

[00:26:57] And so yeah they just they absolutely won’t do it. And I maybe with a court order, but I’ve even heard that they will fight the court order on that kind of stuff. So somethin’s you know, I don’t know, I don’t know what to think about all that as a parent ended up OK in spite of that. And you know, yeah, we were talking about how little rights we have as parents intervene. That probably comes from other parents abusing it. Sure. You know, we’re we’re watching a situation somewhat distance to us, but we’re watching it where the parents are in the middle of a divorce and there’s a control thing going on with the kid that’s real bad. And maybe that’s what’s brought about this, you know, but that’s my phone I pay for. [00:27:39][42.3]

[00:27:40] And it’s your son. Is your son, right? [00:27:43][3.0]

[00:27:44] Yeah, I think it’s because the apple so the phone and services in my name. But like, maybe you had your own Apple ID. [00:27:50][6.6]

[00:27:51] Oh, well, I think part of the right thing is it’s so the physical phone itself is your property, but the information on the phone is right. That’s their take on it. That’s mine too. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. [00:28:03][11.5]

[00:28:04] I know. I get it. But you’re you’re you’re we’re your guardians and. Right. [00:28:09][5.0]

[00:28:10] You know, so we ended up telling him while he was under the therapist. [00:28:14][4.9]

[00:28:15] All right, we’re taking the phone, right? We’re going to see what was on there were wiping a clean right, getting a new phone number from there on forward. We have access to that phone. Right. So he was aware and we also went through his contacts. Right. And we went to at least Joey and I went together and said, OK, what about this person? Who are you going to keep on your phone? Right. Was positive. [00:28:38][22.9]

[00:28:39] So at some point at some point, there was a turning point. Right. Because it sounds like you guys were at odds with each other for a period of time or you never at odds with each other. [00:28:48][8.6]

[00:28:48] Yeah, I think it was communication. Mm hmm. So Joey had difficulty reaching out, right. [00:28:56][8.0]

[00:28:57] When he needed the help and also not being able to communicate the right way. Right. With each other. [00:29:04][7.6]

[00:29:06] But so obviously, he didn’t want to share with you the information on his phone. Mm hmm. Right. But then and right. So did you feel there was a conflict? [00:29:14][8.1]

[00:29:15] At some point, I’d say Serena’s over the phone. And that’s also part of the issue. Like, if you’re having if you’re having a conflicts like that over information, right. With a phone, then that’s just kind of messed up, right? I don’t know. And that’s not anybody’s fault. That’s just how technology is, right? [00:29:31][16.5]

[00:29:32] Well, it’s also how seven 16 year olds are with their parents. Right. So it’s more that it’s just even before phones. I think there was. But it sounds like you guys were all working together from day one. I mean, it doesn’t sound like there was a big, you know, conflict within the family. There was just some tension with regard to information. [00:29:50][18.5]

[00:29:51] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, not towards him. [00:29:54][2.5]

[00:29:54] I, I was resentful for towards the technologies and what what they’ve done in the population that’s occurred. And the more I think even you you had told me about a show called The Social Dilemma. I think it was you that told me. I don’t think it was me. Maybe not, but that’s a very good one to watch because they bring the engineers right that have since left these companies because of what they’re doing. [00:30:14][20.1]

[00:30:15] They talk about the algorithms and how they work to manipulate people. So they see what he’s typing. Right. I’m his parent. I don’t get to see what’s on there. Right. But the people in Facebook or you know, I know Facebook’s grant and stuff now, but social media, yes. When we say Facebook, we mean social media. His generation does not use Facebook. Right. They look at the comments and then they say, OK, he said such and such. And that got a ton of likes or whatever comments in this and that. And they start doing things to steer that. Exactly. They will manipulate. They will actually give people little windows into what other people are doing to incite reactions. Yes, it’s just like, do they make their money? [00:30:54][39.1]

[00:30:54] It’s like the reality shows. They deliberately get different. They have a deliberately get different personality types that they know are going to fight because that gets ratings. [00:31:03][9.5]

[00:31:04] That’s right. Yeah. Yeah. The boxer I told you about, who is this coach was talking to me about that and he was on a show called The Contender and he was telling me, hey, look, right off the bat, Mark Burnett, the producer. Yeah. Comes out and says, I want you guys to know something. This is not about making you look good. Yeah. This is about getting ratings and viewers. Yeah. And you have the chance right now to leave if you don’t understand that. But it is not our job to make you look good with them. It’s their job to do whatever they’re going to do to get clicks out of these kids. Yeah, exactly. And then they sell that to advertisers. They sell data like crazy and things like that. So we drive that by being engaged. Yes. On those. If we do what he did and we eliminate those apps, that’s our vote. [00:31:45][41.0]

[00:31:46] Right [00:31:46][0.0]

[00:31:48] But on the flip side, you know, with some of the apps like the the last time, if we didn’t have the GPS app, that we would never I don’t know if we would have found. [00:31:58][10.9]

[00:31:59] I’m sure and I’m not picking on our social media. Yeah, it’s social media. But, you know, just in technology altogether. Yeah. There’s some good and bad to be good. And you have your bad. [00:32:08][9.1]

[00:32:09] And then the other good is like there’s an app that I found. It’s called Not Not OK, it’s a free app and it allows everyone, kids, teens, adults, you know, all you have to do is press and it sends messages to certain people saying, I’m not OK, come find me right. [00:32:32][23.1]

[00:32:32] Call me right. You know, that way they have to you call someone and tell them they have to do is press that. That’s amazing. You know, and, you know, Joey did not use that resource, but fortunately was there. Yeah, it is there. [00:32:49][16.2]

[00:32:49] And sometimes just knowing it’s there is all you need, I would think. [00:32:52][3.0]

[00:32:53] Yeah. It opens up the door. Yeah. Someone. Yeah. Yeah. [00:32:55][3.0]

[00:32:56] So how did you guys turn the corner. So what is, what is the, the solution. [00:33:02][6.3]

[00:33:03] There’s no obviously one solution. Right. So I do want to just say before we kind of move on, the one thing that you, Lynn and I were talking about before we started was this stigmatism. Round going to seek mental health, do you guys want to talk about that, because I don’t really understand it. I think that I think we all use coaches. We talked about your guitar teacher, Frank. You’ve talked about the boxing coach. Everybody has coaches. I don’t get it either. Right? We all agree that if you’re having a bad day or if you’re struggling with depression or if you’re having a bad relationship or if you have a medical issue that you’re trying to get over with and you need to go see a mental coach, I don’t get what the big deal is. But what’s your what’s my take? [00:33:48][44.5]

[00:33:48] Yeah, what’s your take on that? [00:33:49][1.0]

[00:33:51] I mean, I go to a therapist myself. I deal with anxiety. [00:33:53][2.5]

[00:33:55] I think that some people personally think it’s a pride thing. Possibly. Right. Right. [00:34:02][6.6]

[00:34:03] I also when I have shared my story, our family story, it’s amazing how many people were supportive. But they were it was amazing how people were like, oh, just have him, you know, just take the phone away. [00:34:18][15.2]

[00:34:19] Right. You know. Right. But at the same time, the phone could be a lifesaver. Exactly. [00:34:23][4.4]

[00:34:24] Yeah. So I think it’s just the the mentality of the person individually. [00:34:31][6.8]

[00:34:34] That’s why I think talking about our story and just. [00:34:38][4.6]

[00:34:40] Being able to get it out there opens up a door of awareness. Absolutely. And yeah, it can be culturally based, too. [00:34:48][7.4]

[00:34:48] Yeah, well, depending on the day you hit me, Frank, you know, I could be the guy that would just say, just take the phone away. Right. I could I mean, and I wouldn’t really mean it if I like if I hadn’t thought about it. Right. So I could I could see how people would say it seems like a pretty easy solution, but it doesn’t address the clinical aspect of it. [00:35:07][18.8]

[00:35:07] I remember depression has a clinical aspect, which is your brain chemicals. And then there’s there’s the symptoms. My girlfriend dumped me. I’m depressed for a week. Right. That is situational depression. And maybe taking a phone away from that might help because you’re not seeing the message, but taking the phone away won’t necessarily. Yeah. Change the chemicals. The longer term fix. I mean, there’s there’s good things that it can do. But, you know, the Virginia Tech shooting where I think we need to take out thirty one people. Yeah. Yeah. All right. [00:35:34][27.0]

[00:35:34] That young man had been showing symptoms of mental illness for a while, but his family’s culture going all the way back to KARIUS. Yes. Was do not talk about mental health. [00:35:45][10.6]

[00:35:45] Right. Right. You know, that’s never good. And it would have very likely prevented what happened there. Yeah. Yes. Possibly happened. You know, at least there would have been some intervention. But that stigma existed because thousands of years in that culture, mental illness isn’t a real thing. Yeah, yeah. And it’s I think it’s getting worse in society. Absolutely. Something’s really going on here. Yeah. [00:36:05][19.7]

[00:36:05] And well, I would definitely agree with that, Frank. I mean, and I would I would, I would say I don’t think we really understand what the impact of the Internet is, and I don’t think we’re going to know for another few decades. [00:36:18][12.6]

[00:36:18] We’re always online. Yeah, we’re always on. We’re always dealing with information. Tougher on this generation. Absolutely. Yeah. [00:36:26][7.3]

[00:36:26] Yeah, definitely. So, Joey, how did you get out of this? [00:36:29][2.9]

[00:36:30] How did I get out of this? [00:36:31][0.8]

[00:36:31] Because that’s what we want to hear, right? We want to hear how did you pull yourself out of this? And so one of the things that I think you did was you were running what? [00:36:41][9.6]

[00:36:42] So tell us why you were running, what got you into running, what got me into running? I’ve always been good at it. I’ve always had a good, good stamina. I mean, not I mean, I didn’t have amazing similarities. You had a reason why you started you were running, right? [00:36:55][13.1]

[00:36:55] Well, I mean, I ran track and cross-country in high school and I started off being like the second worst of the team. And then I ended up being the top runner for a while. But then then it got worse. Actually, track simultaneously saved my life and made it worse because I was running six days a week and volunteering on the seventh. It was literally my entire life. You can there’s kind of a joke. You can choose between these three things good grades, asport job and then a social life. You can choose to those right. In high school, you can have three. It’s impossible. And I just didn’t have I didn’t have a life. It was school running, sleep, eat, sleep. [00:37:34][39.8]

[00:37:35] And then. Right. And then and that was post depression or pre pre depression. OK, OK. And then it didn’t help that some of those people. The bad people. Yeah. We’re on the team. Oh. So that’s actually why I had to leave. [00:37:47][12.4]

[00:37:48] That’s mostly why I had to leave the team. So I got my coach was very rough on us physically. I mean my knee got injured and I just couldn’t physically run anymore. It was it hurt. [00:37:59][11.3]

[00:37:59] Too bad they pushed them to run anyway. Old school coaching. Yeah. Yeah, it was it was pretty bad, but they meant well. [00:38:07][8.3]

[00:38:08] And that’s what I also what I mean by trying to see the positives, like he didn’t my coach did not mean to hurt me. He was just trying to help me by improving my times. And I understand that I’m not mad at him. I was for a time because I was being irrational, but. Right. I mean, you got to try and see the positive in that. But anyways, running was running in freshman year, saved my life because I was not feeling good, but because I was running every day. That was my medicine. That was my medication that I’m taking now, essentially because it was helping me mentally and then it also was hurting me mentally. So I wasn’t happy, but at least I was alive. I was alive for the time being. And then sophomore year came. I wasn’t running us competitively. I was getting worse. And I went for a run to go jump off a building. And on the run I ended up feeling better. And I ran around ten miles, almost a half marathon just I just kept running and then I ran home and then acted like nothing happened. And then the next week I went to the mental hospital. [00:39:13][65.0]

[00:39:14] So the so that run, you had an epiphany and yeah, I wouldn’t say epiphany. [00:39:19][5.3]

[00:39:20] I just felt better and time to talk. [00:39:24][3.7]

[00:39:24] Right. Time to get help. Yeah. There’s Dauphin’s, there’s a physical pain that comes with it and you’re permeates it might just gut and I can deal with that. [00:39:32][8.0]

[00:39:32] I felt like I was getting stabbed and stabbed, slammed by a friggin hammer right in my stomach every. [00:39:39][6.4]

[00:39:40] Three seconds and it was just awful, and then I felt, so what was causing that, I mean, was that the depression that was causing that pain and did the running make it go away or did the running? The running made it go away? Yes, OK. [00:39:50][10.1]

[00:39:50] And then also my thoughts. I mean, the thought process, I was just like, life isn’t worth it. This is it’s too much pain. I’m sorry. I have to get help. I will end it. That was my first reaction. And then I got help later on, finally. [00:40:02][12.4]

[00:40:03] But we’re glad you did. Me too. So so tell us, how are you now dealing, I guess how are you dealing with with life today? What is your secret sauce for you? Right. So you know how to make a great cup of coffee. [00:40:20][16.7]

[00:40:20] Right? So, I mean, that does help. Caffeine does help. Yeah, Ally. [00:40:24][4.0]

[00:40:25] But I guess I mean, I keep coming back to this but positivity and not being negative. I mean, if I just try to see the best in people, I try to help as many people as possible. And that makes me feel good. Yeah. And if I can help them every time I help someone, I have friends that also struggle. I’m I wouldn’t say I’m the therapist, but I’m there. Go Gote friend that help them get through whatever they’re going through. And I think I’m doing a good job with that. Yeah, I’m sure you are. And I think I hope so. Yeah. I mean they seem to have some they seem to be doing well and that just makes me feel better and doing things that doing what you can to help other people always makes you feel good. [00:41:02][36.7]

[00:41:02] Absolutely. And that absolutely will always be a positive influence on anyone. That is absolutely that is absolutely true. [00:41:09][7.6]

[00:41:10] The more you give, the more you get, the more you help people, the more you’re you’re you’re feeding your soul for sure. Right. [00:41:17][7.1]

[00:41:23] Like what you’re hearing on the Go with John show, please share it with your friends, they can sign up at go with John Dotcom. So what do you think about technology? Do you have you know, we chatted a little bit about this offline. What you know, how do you take any measures to beat or the amount of speed of exposure you have to social media? [00:41:48][25.1]

[00:41:49] Do you play video games or not? So are you a video game or do you video game? Oh, because I’m a little too much for it to be OK. But it’s kind of it’s. Yeah. So what is so what is a little too much for it to be OK. Like four hours a day. Oh dude that’s crazy to me. I do make money off it. [00:42:04][15.6]

[00:42:05] Nick, Nick, our engineers over here shaking it off. I know Nick’s a video gamer, so. Yes. [00:42:10][5.5]

[00:42:11] Yeah, we’re we’ve we’ve you know, innately I would like to throttle that. However, with covid, he has very little social interaction with people and his friends are online with him, right? [00:42:23][11.6]

[00:42:23] No, no. That’s why when the kids over and we can get back to socialization that, you know, like silent things, but for now, we understand that there’s some positive aspect to it. Absolutely interactive because there’s no game. It’s it’s the other kids that are doing this for four hours. I got a real problem with that. But the video games. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where’s the video games become a problem is when he’s up too late and not getting the appropriate. Yeah. And I’ve been getting better about that. [00:42:50][26.7]

[00:42:50] Yeah. Yeah. That’s awesome. So, so, so. So are you taking measures to meter the amount of exposure you have to social media? [00:42:59][9.3]

[00:43:01] Well, I mean, I did delete Instagram. I’ve never been on Facebook. I deleted Snapchat. I think I intend to if I did and I don’t know, I deleted everything. I the only thing I’m on his Twitter and Reddit and that those I’m not actually on, it’s just a dead account to browse. And that’s a little bit different as long as you’re not interacting. [00:43:19][18.7]

[00:43:20] Yeah. As long as you’re not really interacting, I think it’s fine. So what kind of measures are you taking on the electronic side, this to control or manage your personal situation? [00:43:32][12.4]

[00:43:33] I would say this beautiful button called Do Not Disturb. That helps a lot. I mean, the only interaction I have with people is through text. [00:43:40][6.7]

[00:43:41] And if I just click that one button, then my phone is no longer you know, I don’t interact with people. It’s not active. I mean, people can text me, but I don’t see it. And that’s great because with with guitar, I use it for backing tracks. Yeah. With photography and I use it for editing and on the spot. And then just to also take other photos because, you know, it’s difficult to carry a whole camera around. And that’s why photography, the photography industry industry is dying because of phones. The cameras are getting so good that you don’t need an actual camera and anyone can take a picture now. Right. And that’s the problem. Now, I can’t really make it. It’s difficult to make money off that. But and then with running, I need it for music. Phones themselves are not necessarily a bad thing. Anything to as long as you’re moderating things, anything is fine. [00:44:30][49.5]

[00:44:31] Yeah. So but you make a good point because I didn’t even think about that is you’ve got your phone with you all the time. You’re using it for photography, you’re using it for music, you’re using it to play music. So it’s always there. So if anybody text you, you’re just you’re just like there. And that do not disturb button is really your probably most valuable tool. [00:44:48][17.5]

[00:44:49] It’s oh it’s on seventy seventy percent of the time. I’m awful at answering texts and that’s kind of on purpose. [00:44:54][5.6]

[00:44:55] Yeah. But then I think people begin to understand that about you and then they can’t get upset when you don’t respond within 15 seconds. [00:45:00][5.4]

[00:45:01] Exactly. Yeah. And I control, I see texts and then I just kind of, I don’t really feel like responding right now. I’ll respond later and people that’s what my people in my generation get mad about. Right. That’s ridiculous. Yeah. Yeah. [00:45:12][11.8]

[00:45:13] Isn’t it funny that they still call it a phone. This generation doesn’t call anybody. [00:45:16][3.3]

[00:45:17] Yeah. It’s, it’s all, it’s all text tonight. So texting. We still call it a phone. I mean it’s a handheld computer. They don’t do email. Yeah. [00:45:25][8.0]

[00:45:25] I think they’re migrating to device now. I think they’re calling them the. [00:45:28][3.0]

[00:45:28] Yeah that’s a very good point device. Yeah. Yeah. [00:45:31][2.4]

[00:45:31] He used the email as they’re saying that’s dead as well. Well I mean you still need an email address, but we don’t we don’t communicate with each other through email unless it’s a professional and in reality, like nobody through even then I text my chiropractor. [00:45:44][12.7]

[00:45:45] I text yeah. For yeah. I mean I text them for everything’s text and I am. Yeah. And that’s, that’s kind of nice because I don’t like calling people on the phone. I’m, I’m fine with FaceTime. I just, I can’t talk to people in person without seeing their face. [00:45:58][13.4]

[00:45:58] Oh. Without seeing their face because. OK, because I get confused because you like at the drive thru at your coffee shop where you work, you like to be the order taker because you get to talk to people, but then I guess you get to see them face to face when they get there. [00:46:09][10.7]

[00:46:09] Yeah. Yeah. And that’s when I have the real interactions. It’s pretty fun. I have funny interactions over the speaker and I have like interesting and good interactions. The people on the window, right, like I had a conversation with someone for two minutes about running yesterday, that’s not super random. It was great. I got five minutes and, you know. [00:46:28][18.9]

[00:46:29] You know, go ahead, Lynn. [00:46:29][0.9]

[00:46:30] No, I just think that I hear him play his guitar, you know, in between classes so that that is a good way of disconnecting and then his job, you know, because he can’t have his phone. Yeah. And just I do listen to music depending on what I’m doing. Yeah. But I’m just saying that you can’t be doing it right in front of customers. [00:46:51][21.3]

[00:46:52] So it’s a good way of disconnecting from the technology, even if it’s just for an hour when the pandemic is is immersed in them so heavily in technology, they’re almost sick of it. [00:47:03][11.7]

[00:47:04] Right. Yeah. Oh no. We take online school. Yeah. And most of us do. All of us are. [00:47:08][4.1]

[00:47:09] I know very few people that are not doing high grade, which is two days and two days out and. Yeah. And then the people who aren’t doing it are just scared. Yeah. Or they have people who are super at risk. [00:47:18][8.8]

[00:47:18] You an option in Fairfax County to stay at home the rest of the year or do hybrid. [00:47:22][4.1]

[00:47:23] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. I get it. We’re doing hybrid in our house so I get it. I get it. You know, really the really cool thing about all this is and you get it, Joey, is that people are are cool people. [00:47:35][12.1]

[00:47:35] I mean, it’s really amazing when you get out and just mix it up with people. It’s how I got to know your dad. This is second time I’m meeting you, Lynn. And everybody’s got a story. Every single person you meet has a story. Every single person you meet has a struggle, every single one of them you can meet. The most put together person that you think has everything neatly lined up in their life is perfect. And when you start scratching the surface and you sit down and start having a real honest chat with somebody, you you start to get to know somebody. You always learn they’ve got some kind of health condition or they have a mental condition or they have difficulties with family members. You know, it is. It is and it’s not. And there’s a lot of really cool, fun things about people, too. Like you, you met mostly cool fun things about most. [00:48:25][50.0]

[00:48:26] But I don’t want to paint a dark picture here. [00:48:28][2.2]

[00:48:29] But, you know, one of the one of the most fun days I had right before covid, I took a trip and I wanted to go see my two first bass player Bass teachers who both lived in New Jersey. And one of them owns a coffee shop in one part of New Jersey. And the other one is in I think it’s called Spring Lake, New Jersey, you know, s in New York. So put the family in the car. We did a road trip, but we had a bunch of people. We just wanted to go see that I had I hadn’t seen in forever. And we go and we stop in to the to the first guy and we chat with him and we have lunch at his cafe. And then we go to the second place where we check into a hotel and we checked in to the hotel and we had like three or four hours before we were going to meet John Perry, who was my longest based teacher I had. And he’s going to eventually be on the on the show here. I want to get his story and talk to him. But we had some time. We were in the hotel and my one son, Nicholas, was doing something. My wife was in the shower. So I told my other son, Alexander, I said, let’s go out and just let’s go mix it up with the folks and let’s go see what we run into. So we go out and we’re at Asbury Park and we go down and and we’re walking on the pier and there’s a news crew set up. Right. And you can see they’ve got the lights and the cameras. And so I go, let’s just see what this is all about. So we’re hanging out and we start asking people around what’s going on, who’s coming. And they say, oh, Governor Murphy’s going to be here and he’s going to be interviewed about blah, blah, blah, whatever. So we’re just kind of standing there and then Governor Murphy pulls up and he gets out of his car and he comes walking over and he walked straight over to Alexander, my son, and starts talking to him. [00:50:09][99.7]

[00:50:09] And I’m immediately thinking to myself, this guy thinks I’m a New Jersey voter. [00:50:13][3.8]

[00:50:15] So but it was a really just a cool, random experience. Right. And I think that is that is a really big part of why I want to do this podcast is because there’s so many incredibly interesting people out there and it’s so easy to go out and mix it up with folks and learn interesting things. But it does take time and we all get busy and we all get in the grind and we all get move and move and move it and it all falls by the wayside. So it’s really great to hear your story. I love that that that you get it, you know, and I love that you are working hard to make your life the best state that you can make it. And I love that you’re working at a coffee shop and you can chat it up with folks. And I can guarantee you kids keep doing that. You’re going to end up doing something with your passion. Right. [00:51:02][47.0]

[00:51:03] And if you love talking to people and and mixing it up with folks and you like to be a little bit mischievous with it as well. [00:51:12][9.2]

[00:51:12] Absolutely. I just I would say a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like to have fun. You like to mess with people. Absolutely. [00:51:19][6.3]

[00:51:20] And I think that’s a youngster thing, I think when we were all youngsters, we enjoyed that. Now I realize that everybody has a struggle no matter who they are. And I don’t I don’t mess with anybody anymore. But did you have a funny story you want to close out with about a safe, funny story, say that funny story about how you messed with somebody in a good way or a fun way or. [00:51:42][22.2]

[00:51:42] I mean, I did mess with my entire school. Yeah, that was pretty fun. [00:51:46][4.0]

[00:51:46] Yeah, OK, that’s pretty cool. Getting a green light from mom and dad to make sure. Yeah, so did I. [00:51:52][5.4]

[00:51:52] So I got this idea to to make a bunch of posters that looked official saying that there was a mandatory drug tests throughout and for my school and I put 30 all over the school and everyone on social media started freaking out because my let’s just say my school is not despite the posters when I was drug free. Right. It’s a high school. It’s a high school. What do you expect? Fifty percent of the kids would have failed that. Yeah. And they all started freaking out. And there was it was it was a very ridiculous poster. I don’t think I can repeat some of the things on there. But if you kept reading, it was obvious that it was fake. But at the first paragraph looks very real. Right. And with I thought it would take a good day for me to get caught. It took one hour. Oh, wow. Because I didn’t know that they monitor the cameras 24/7. Right. And I went into the office and then I talked my way out of suspension. [00:52:44][52.5]

[00:52:45] Yeah. Nice, nice. His principal lives four doors down. [00:52:49][4.1]

[00:52:50] So that was well, I mean, she wasn’t involved directly that I know of. Yeah. [00:52:54][4.0]

[00:52:55] You talking yourself out of the suspension, you mean. [00:52:57][1.7]

[00:52:57] Yeah, I talk to my assistant principal who I like liked me from before. And then I just was like, I had no malintent. I just wanted to do something funny because I was bored, I was bored. I didn’t I wanted to change things up, do something funny. Nice made my day and she called me. [00:53:12][15.2]

[00:53:13] I got the phone call. Yeah. And she was laughing. But she’s like, you know, there has to be consequences. Yeah. [00:53:19][5.9]

[00:53:19] I got to community service hours. That’s it. Right. Planning. [00:53:22][2.5]

[00:53:23] Yeah. Well for a lot of people that’s not even consequences. Right. Because for a lot of folks they do community service anyway. [00:53:28][5.2]

[00:53:28] Well, I had to help the janitors, which wasn’t bad at all. I wasn’t complaining. Yeah, I still I still have an hour. [00:53:34][5.5]

[00:53:34] I was going to say, you know, the future of good communication is this. It’s the podcast. Right. Because you don’t meet real people on Facebook. You don’t meet, you meet their avatar, you meet there what they want you to believe about them. Here’s my perfect family. Here’s yeah. This is where you get long format to the root of things. [00:53:52][17.5]

[00:53:52] Absolutely. Absolutely they are. Same podcasts are more popular now than ever. Yep. And it takes off for me. It’s I don’t even know why radio exists anymore. I mean, podcasts are so good. That’s what I do when I’m driving. I love driving now because a podcast. So this is it. This is how you’re going to get to the bottom of things. Well, this is where the real news is going to come from, you know? Yeah, our media has failed us. It’s turned into some other animal. [00:54:18][26.1]

[00:54:19] Yeah, it’s true. So it’s a weird time. And that’s why I say we don’t even know where it’s all going. Right. We’re not going to know for decades. Yeah, it’s going yeah. [00:54:26][7.0]

[00:54:26] This is the format of it, not headlines, not, you know, manipulated news. It’s going to be the person telling their whole story. The real deal. Yep. [00:54:33][7.2]

[00:54:34] Well so here we are with the real deal with Joey Lynn and Frank. And thank you guys for coming in. Thank you. Really enjoy hearing your story. And, you know, if we can if we can help one person and give one person, like, don’t be afraid to ask for help, that’s what that’s exactly right. And if you do ask for help and you don’t get it, ask again. [00:54:54][20.0]

[00:54:54] Absolutely somebody else. It’s worth it. Yeah, it’s hard at first, but anyone can get help, I believe. Yeah. He has the right tools for life now. That’s exactly. And if anything, I’m glad all that happened because now I’m in a great place. [00:55:08][13.1]

[00:55:08] And while that was painful for half a year, I’m in a great place now. And like my dad said, I have all the tools to live a good life. [00:55:14][6.4]

[00:55:15] Now, you’re lucky because it could have gone on for a lot longer and it could have. I’m very lucky. I’m very lucky and very grateful. I understand my situation one really well. Thanks again, Joey, for you for having me all. Got it. [00:55:26][11.4]

[00:55:33] If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, don’t wait until it’s too late. Learn from Joey’s story and reach out to someone. Disconnect every once in a while and stay positive and love your life. This is John Jorgenson. And thanks for listening. [00:55:33][0.0]